Hannah Decker

I have always liked the band Waterdeep, but I have only casually and randomly heard (most of) their songs. I've never really learned any of their songs or even owned any of their albums.  Or so I thought.  Apparently my parents had always had their album Sink or Swim in our tiny little CD collection.  Crazy.  So I took it with me on my trip back to Waco for my final Biology exam.  I am pretty sure I spent a whole hour listening to the same song over and over again.  Not only does it have a haunting yet elegantly simple acoustic guitar accompaniment, the melody perfectly showcases and complements Lori Chaffer's vocals.  That song was "I'm afraid that I'm not supposed to be like this."  Something about this song haunts me, but I think it is a combination of things, the greatest being the fact that it captures where I am spiritually as a Christian at this point in my life.  Or maybe it just captures the generic sin struggle of all humanity in the face of a holy, loving, just God.  Either way, I connected with this song on a fundamental level. 

I've included the lyrics for those of you who are curious.

As a sidebar, I do want to note that one of the greatest reasons why this song was so instantly a hit with me was that it reminded me of my other all-time favorite artist, Derek Webb... lyrically, thematically, and musically.

 

Well I'm afraid I'm not supposed to be like this

Like I was born in a land where no serpent hissed

And I have waited a long time for Your kiss



Well I have felt that they'd all take offense at me

And so a fence I have built to protect the seed

But all the bricks will secure its mortality



I have been seated in circles and stood in disgrace

At the noted intention to be in place

And I have seen that one man saved the human race

But it took His life and it took His faith



I have risen from ashes and fed on flames

But even so I still fear I have played a game

And it seems no one else is as sick and depraved



I have heard that I'm not supposed to be this way

And still the stones that are lifted fall down to stay

But I keep doubting and think one will strike my face



He's been promising me something more than pain

Where the cost is grace and my loss is gain

And I have chosen because there is no other way

I either wallow in shame

Or humble myself and be saved

And be saved